Finding Myself


Sometimes you need to lose who you were to find who you are.
Finding myself… is something that I have been struggling with since the birth of Andres. Something that I’ve noticed is that different people adapt quicker to being a mom and others like myself do not adapt as fast. I know it’s a learning process and every day I’ll learn something new but at the beginning I didn’t know. I wasn’t myself, I had just given life to a baby boy and all my energy and soul belong to him. But as time went on, I slowly began to lose pieces of myself. When you become a parent you sacrifice the life you once had to raise your child. 

Things are different when you are a raising a child, there is little room for self-care or me time. Our priority is the care of our child and nothing more. However, I began to noticed something, I wasn’t taking care of my mental health. It’s selfish to say but I cannot give it my all to Andres if I’m not okay. There were days that I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for Andres and then would spend endless hours thinking of ways to provide more for him.  To be honest that didn’t help me, it just caused me to be more concerned of my baby’s well being. The problem that I was having was that I was too focused on my son and his well being that I forgot about my well being. 

I’m a full time stay-at-home mom and there are no off days for us. There are a few rare moments that I do get it, sometimes is when my son is napping or my husband offers to look after him but it’s not that often. I am not complaining, I love being a mom, I love spending time with my son, I love listening to his laughter every morning when I sing to him but I do wish I could get a few minutes for myself. I sometimes need a space to breathe and to adjust myself before taking care of my son. There have been moments that I get frustrated and I don’t know how to deal with it. A few moments of the day it all it takes for me. Writing allows me to practice self care. It may not be a facial or a massage but it still does the same job. I vent through writing. Sometimes a mother wants to be heard. 

 All am I saying is that I may not be the same person who I was a few years ago, I don’t have the liberty to do all things I used to do, but I am finding a new way of living with what I have right now. I’m going to write more, it really does help relax my mind and my soul, 








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